I know how much you love your partner.

You love them so much you want to feel and be close to them in every way possible.

You want to touch them all over, and want to taste every part of their body.

And you do this.

But yet, something is missing.

It's a frustrating and claustrophobic feeling that you can't explain.

You want to feel even closer to them, to be inside them, but that is just not quite enough, and you don't know why.

Over time, this feeling continues, and is exacerbated by the increasing anxiety this brings.

Until one day, you just can't take it.

You've had enough.

So you leave.

You split up.

This is a familiar story that can be easily avoided.

It can be avoided with a simple realisation.

The realisation that the part of them that you have not been close to is their poo.

Poo comes out of them every day, but you have never tasted it. You smell it frequently, but never actually tasted it.

This is what has been missing all this time. This is the cause of the frustrating disconnectedness.

I know what you're thinking, and no, you don't need to actually munch on their poo.

There is a simpler solution, and as I said, it's just a realisation.

And that is: when you smell their pumps, you are actually eating their poo particles, and tasting them.

Knowing this will likely save your relationship, and this badge serves as a stark reminder of this important point.

So buy this for yourself AND for your partner, to ensure that your relationship doesn't fail, as so many before yours have.