This is not an inappropriate one for a change, I thought you could do with a break from plops.
Twenty years ago I had a Mitsubishi EVO6, it was a pretty good car in many ways, but this story is about selling it.
Having advertised it in Autotrader, I met a ‘lad’ who was interested in buying.
We met at a shopping mall just off the M62 which, at the time, seemed fine.
After driving him around a little bit he asked if he could have a go, and without thinking too much about it, I stopped so we could swap seats. We both got out at the same time, and as I was walking around the back, I saw my lovely car launch down the road, all four wheels spinning, leaving four rubbery streaks (with the passenger door still hanging open).
Feeling a bit sad and a little surprised, but happy my Nokia 8210 was in my pocket, I phoned this lad to see what was going on. He happily said he’d be back in a minute, and just wanted to test drive it on his own.
Fair enough I didn’t think, so I called the police, the insurance people, then a friend to come and pick me up.
After I got home, he called me back. Splendid, I thought, he’s going to bring my car back. Of course I didn’t really think that, but I was curious.
So I answered the call.
‘Hey mate, can I have the password for your laptop please (which was in the boot)?’
Of course. Why didn’t I expect that? Sure. Sounds like a fair request. So I told him I didn’t have it. I was going to say something more creative but I’d left my wallet in the car so I knew he knew where I lived.
A couple of weeks later the insurance company paid me what it was worth, so I called them and asked for more. I told them it was a limited edition and I wanted a couple of grand more, and amazingly they sent it!
A few months after that the Police visited to tell me that they'd caught the little scrote. He had a warehouse full of cars and was using firearms to forcibly take them while on showroom test drives. They also told me that his religious family had disowned him and he hadn't stopped crying the whole time they'd had him in custody (so far).