A plop in the forest

This one is slightly different to the rest, as I can't actually remember who told me this story.
About three months ago, one of the members of this lovely email group sent me an amazing story about something that happened to them just a few days before.  She said that she's happy for me to share the story with you as long as she could be kept anonymous, but when it came to actually use the email I couldn't find it!  I've searched all of my email and it's disappeared and I can't remember the name of the lady who sent it to me.
It's such a good story though that I'm going to try and recount it as closely as I can to the original.
If it turns out that this story if yours, I hope you don't mind that I've sent it like this, and that I've altered it in this way, but I really couldn't find the original email, so sorry and thank you!
I'll write it in the first person to make it as close to the original as I can.
------
Last Sunday afternoon I was walking in my local forest as normal.  It was a little overcast, but didn't seem to matter, I was surrounded by nature which made everything seem ok.
The OK feeling didn't last long though; it was interrupted by that heavy and familiar aching feeling.  I knew what it meant, and although the timing could have been better, at least I was alone, and there are worse places in public to have a poo.
I walked a little way off the path, and nervously looking around, I did what I needed to do as quickly as I could.  Fortunately for me that was not hard, it was coming out anyway.
Just as I'd thrown the tissue behind a hedge and was straightening my skirt a dog appeared.  I knew exactly what that meant, and surely enough the dog's human appeared; I didn't even have a chance to run away or hide.
Can you imagine?  I was standing there straightening my skirt, looking very sensible and proper with a dog at my feet sniffing a turd I'd just laid, with the dog's owner standing right in front of me looking straight into my eyes.
What do you say in this situation?  Hello?  Lovely day isn't it?  I had no idea so I just stood there and waited for the universe to end.  I waited for what seemed like ages and it didn't, until he said something.
He said 'I'm terribly sorry'.
What?!?! I thought?  Why is he apologising?  Oh, he's saying he's sorry for interrupting my poo, that makes it even more embarrassing.  What could I say?  So I didn't say anything at all, I just stood there.
The next thing was even weirder, he reached into his pocket and took out a dog poo bag, and proceeded to bend down and pick up my poo which by the way was probably still warm.  He then tied it up, and then walked off, with the dog happily trotting behind him.
Well that wasn't what I was expecting when I woke up this morning, but that'll do, I thought.
THE END.
-----
What an amazing story, don't you think?  I've told a few of my friends about this one, possibly the best story I've ever heard.  What do you think?
Back to blog

Leave a comment

Please note, comments need to be approved before they are published.