Lessons for a child

This one is written by one of our email group members again, I hope you like it!
 
----
 
Take your mind back to 1984. I was an innocent 9yr old girl who absolutely adored music. Every genre and I sat, religiously, every Sunday, listening to the top 40. Fingers poised over the play and record buttons on my faithful tape recorder, waiting for the DJ to play the songs I was currently in love with. One of which was Like a Virgin by Madonna. Oh how I used to sing along, dancing around the living room like most little girls would at the time.
 
There was a teeny problem with this though. I actually had no idea what a Virgin was. So, like any curious kid I asked the question. In front of everyone (mum, big sis, middle sis and middle sis's boyfriend), mid singing, "Muuuuuuumm. What's a virgin?" To which middle sis's boyfriend piped up, "don't worry mum. I've got this." I think mum was ready to kill the said boyfriend because she was ready with the "I'll tell you when you're older" comeback, but noooooo, I was going to learn what a Virgin was. What my favourite song was all about. I was then told, "a virgin is someone who wears long white socks!"
 
Now in the 80s (and probably other decades), part of the school uniform for infant and junior schools were long white socks. I don't even think ankle socks had been invented then, so at weekends and holidays, we donned the long white socks. This lead to my one and only conclusion. Yes, I was a virgin!! And so the song was promptly changed. It didn't matter where or when, my bedroom, the lounge, visiting grandparents, in the car, school disco or in the supermarket, I proudly sang at the top of my voice "IM A VIRGIN. TOUCHED FOR THE VERY FIRST TIME....."
 
Several things have happened since. Firstly, I was disowned many times while out. My parents would hide anywhere they could until the song had ended!
 
Secondly, I have indeed lost my virginity. When I went up to high school, the uniform code changed and I found myself wearing black socks. I can't remember the exact date, or having any feelings over the situation, but on the first day of high school (according to my sources) I did lose my virginity.
 
And finally, my parents still haven't answered my question!!!
mrinappropriate.co.uk
Back to blog

Leave a comment

Please note, comments need to be approved before they are published.