The armed forces

This one is about the armed forces and the sorts of tricks they play on each other.

If you know anyone who has similar stories, or if you have any of your own, please share them, I'd love to hear about them!!

These were told to me by a couple friends I have, one was in The Navy, and the other was in the British Army Parachute Regiment.

1: A friend of mine (Mark) who was in The Navy who we affectionately referred to as Pugwash told us about 'two tins or no guts'. This is basically where you dare someone to do something, and if they don't do it they have to give you two tins of beer. Surely it should have been called two tins AND no guts, anyway, that's what they called it.

One of the dares he told me about was when someone was requested to put a turd in his mouth. The one placing the dare dropped a plop into a pint glass, and gave it to the recipient, who clearly didn't want to give up two tins of beer, so he put the whole thing in his mouth, rolled it around and spat it back out into the pint glass. I struggle to believe that this really happened, but apparently it really did. Does that sound plausible to you?

2: Mark and another friend of mine both told me about this, but they had slightly different variations. One of them was 'seagulling' where you wank into your hand, and throw it into someone else's face. The other variation was where you just slap someone with it in your hand. Lovely isn't it? I don't think I want to go into the Army after all.

3: This last one relates to changing shifts at night time. In the Army when on a specific sort of training, they have to take turns doing night watch, and when they switch over, one gets out of his sleeping bag to take over, and the one who'd finished his shift gets in. The trick to this one is to have a wank and unload all over the inside of the sleeping bag just before you get out, so the next occupant gets to fully appreciate it.

What do you think about these? Is this sort of stuff normal to you, or has this confirmed to you that male humans are horrible grotty little scrotes?