The bus conductor story

I have a brilliant story here from an amazing lady from our email group, I hope you like it!
Going back a fair few years, I was young, full of beans, and determined to do everything I couldn't do as a child, its probably fair to say I was a bit wild 😂 I'd been to collage, got my certificates and all that, then was let loose in the world.
I couldn't find a job that I was qualified for, it was coming up for summer and I needed money, so I went job hunting.
I nabbed a job on public transport as a Bus Conductor.  After the induction course of all the rules, regulations, how the ticket machine worked etc, we were put on a bus for a few days being shadowed by another conductor to get a taste of how it all worked, and of course if you liked the job and how you got on. I loved it!
After that we were assigned our driver, I had a little chap called (not real name) Dave, we got on well and had similar personalities, both enjoyed a good bevvy (I did at the time, but no longer drink).
I would think most of you know the tv programme "On the Buses"?, well its not far from the truth, as it was back then 😂. So here's my story.
It was now summer, and the town was extremely busy, I was working a late shift with "Dave", starting in the late afternoon.
It was so hot, each trip was heaving, and were were both sweating profusely. We had on our shift what was called a drop back, where once the passengers were dropped off, instead of picking more up, we sit on the Bus for a couple of trips, the Bus behind take our place, the Bus behind them take their place, then we take theirs.
Anyway, the trick was to go like hell on the last trip before the drop back, so we get a longer rest.
Well, Dave shot off like a bat outta hell, passengers were gripping the seats in front of them knuckles white, and bouncing around with every bump in the road, and swaying as we turned, screeching to halt at Bus Stops, the passengers were literally running off the Bus at their stop.
We got to town a good 15mins early, "Pub" Dave said, "Yeh go on then", I was getting off the Bus, Dave said "Get on, I'll drive down" so we drove to the Pub, off route in the Bus, just a couple of minutes away around the corner.
We took everything off the Bus and put it under the table where we sat. Let me tell you, that first pint went down a treat, in seconds! We got another in, Dave only had 1/2s as he was driving.
Looking at the time I said we had time for another, Dave asked if I was sure, he didn't have his watch on, I said yeh, that's what my watch says, look I showed him my watch, "You fucking plank" he shouted," your watch has stopped"..
We asked the barman the time, we were 15 minutes late! I hurriedly corrected and wound my watch up, as we rushed out and on to the Bus, "Dave said brace yourself I'm going the quickest way" "Huh???" We swerved around the first corner flying up the one way street the wrong way, cars were coming down the road, the people with shock on their faces seeing a Double Decker hurtling towards them at speed, someone shouted one way street, Dave shouts back, "I'm only going one way"!! We swerved around the corner, and bolted to the Bus Stop.
The two Buses behind us were already there filling up, the Inspector was there, the look on his face, I can't even describe, We boarded our passengers, and pulled away, feeling smug....
"Errrr Dave, I left my machine & all the money in the pub!" .... So , Dave swung the Bus around the corner, all the passengers shouting "You're going the wrong waaaayyyyyy",  Dave shouts "Shut up I fucking know",  we stopped at the pub, I shot out, to my relief the machine & money were still there, I ran back on the Bus, the passengers were sitting there in shock, I started taking their fares, they were in a daze, till Dave went up the one way again, they were screaming, yelling, I told them all to calm down,  some were yelling they want to get off!
We took the corner again at the top of the one way road and flew towards the stop all our passengers got on at, the inspector was still there, his eyes wide, mouth open at the sight of us turning up again with a Bus full of screaming passengers, we flew past and swerved around the right turning this time 😂 
One poor old girl sitting near the front looked like she was enjoying her adventure, she smiled at me sweetly and asked where she was going 😂 . I just told her we had to make a quick detour, but we were on the right road and I'd tell her when to get off.
Dave was driving like an F1 driver again, to get us back to the times we were meant to be on. Other than the disgruntled passengers, would you believe we did it?! 
We were up for a roasting the next day, Dave said that he had eaten something dodgy and he had the trotts, hence the erratic driving, and the pub was the nearest loo.
We got away with murder that day, but I've never laughed so much, even now writing this I was in stitches.
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