• Last order dates for Christmas:

    Tracked 24/48 / 1st Class: Thursday 19th

    2nd Class Tuesday 17th

    You might want to order earlier as Royal Mail can be slow at this time of year!
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Birthday Card - Old Twat

Birthday Card - Old Twat

£4.97
£4.97 £4.97
Sale Sold out
Shipping - estimated in cart and calculated at checkout.

Ships Next Day (Mon-Fri)

What's inside the card?

Nothing unless you check the box above, then we'll print a message in it for you, and can even send it to your recipient for no additional charge!

Just make sure you enter their address as the shipping address when you checkout.

Can you send it to my loved one?

Yes, just add their address as the shipping address when you check out.

We can also print a message in the card if you like, just check the box above and enter your message :)

Can I talk with you to check something?

Sure, call me on 01138730688 or email me at dan@mrinappropriate.co.uk, or use the little chat thingy at the bottom right.

How much does shipping cost?

It will actually cost you less then it costs me, so don't worry, you won't get a horrible surprise when you check out.

You'll see a dropdown on the checkout page where you can choose the method you want to use.

When will I get it?

If you order before 23:00 we'll send your order the next working day.

If you also order mugs, water bottles and anything fabric, they will arrive separately because they are printed to order.

You can choose from various shipping methods when you check out, the quickest being Royal Mail Tracked 24.

You'll notice that the cost of shipping is less than what it costs me.

"Once again a fantastic service from Dan, I've ordered quite a few times now and he's never failed to deliver, I always get a laugh from the people I give the gifts to, try him you won't be disappointed, cheers Dan 👍" - Steve Rowley, Camden

“These birthday cards are of amazing quality. The company is brilliant. Gave my friend the vibrator one she could not stop laughing, just to see the smile on her face was worth the money!” - Susanne Moore.

I think giving someone a birthday card is not just about the act of giving a card, but it's also the sentiment.

Not only are you saying what is actually written on the card, you're saying something much deeper and more meaningful.

Unless you give them this card of course.

Your card will be blank on the inside unless you add a message using the checkbox above.

View full details
Customers rate us 5.0/5 based on 1175 reviews.

“Have ordered several cards from Mr Inappropriate. If you’re looking for something funny and unique - look no further! Great service and I even received free wine labels!! Great company - I highly recommend!” - Kirsty, Haddington

Mr. Inappropriate

Imagine their face when they open it

Will they be surprised? Impressed? Offended? Will they giggle and drop a bit of wee into their pants.

Will they get a glimpse of what you're really like?

I hope so, you should be proud of how naughty you can be.

We get it

Every day you have to behave yourself and do all of the stupid crap that society expects you to.

You have to wear the right clothes, keep your job, be polite, try not to wave your important parts around in public, and remember not to say naughty words or offend anyone.

Be kind to yourself and give yourself a break, release some pressure and do something bad. You owe it to yourself, and to your friends.  They’ll love you more for it, I can promise you that.

Read more about what we can do for you

Very Important Questions

Can I get a refund if I don't like it?

If you don't like your card, just email me (dan@mrinappropriate.co.uk) within 30 days and I'll give you a full refund including postage, no questions asked.

You don't even need to send it back!

How big and thick is it?

Your card is 5" x 7" (5x7 inches).

The card material is 350gsm white silk card, which is thicker than most cards.

What is it made from?

It is also FSC(R) certified - materials used to make the product have been ethically sourced from well-managed and sustainable forests.

How will it be packaged?

This card and envelope will be shipped to you in a cellophane wrap and a card-backed envelope to make sure it doesn't get bent or wet.

If you order it along with other stuff, it might come to you in a box which is even safer!

Can I talk with you to check something?

Sure, call me on 01138730688 or email me at dan@mrinappropriate.co.uk, or use the little chat thingy at the bottom right.

Who or what is Mila?

Mila is our very own naughty little AI-driven assistant. Have a chat with her and see what happens!

Buy more cards and save

Any 2: 10% OFF!

Any 6: 25% OFF

View all
  • Mr. Inappropriate

    All orders before 11pm sent next working day; mugs, water bottles and anything fabric will be sent a couple of days later.

  • Mr. Inappropriate

    Full refund, no need to send back, just email us, no questions asked.

Or get a whole set!

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Why?

With so many of us suffering from anxiety and depression, we need a way out, an escape, a way to break through the stupid social norms.

Our aim at Mr. Inappropriate is to give you a break from all that, be yourself, and have a laugh.

My name is Dan, I’m the founder of Mr. Inappropriate and I firmly believe that we’re not designed to live like this.

We haven’t changed much since the time when we ran around with a spear chasing something to fuck or eat, or escaping from someone else doing that.

And now, we have to deal with emails, debt, job and a million other things, not to mention the fact we’re not allowed to express ourselves anymore for fear of offending someone.

If you’re feeling stressed and anxious it’s hardly surprising.  

Let us help by giving you a moment to escape, have a giggle and not give a shit.

And help your friends do the same!

Read more about what we can do for you

Or amaze them with a bundle!

  • Mr. Inappropriate

    Custom card message and send it directly to your recipient.

  • Mr. Inappropriate

    All designs are hand drawn in our home office near Leeds.

Customer Reviews

Based on 8 reviews
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Sally Rutherford (Cardiff, GB)
Can’t recommend enough!!!

Well, where do you start on this site??? There’s so much to choose from!!
When I saw this particular card….well….that was it!! It went straight into the basket!!! I’ve not given it to the recipient yet, but I can’t wait to, I know he’ll appreciate it and howl with laughter!!!

The communication between Dan and myself was exceptional and what a lovely guy!!! If it’s the choice of buying from here and somewhere else, I’d HANDS DOWN choose Mr Inappropriate everytime!

A
Aidan Gibbs (Stratford, GB)
Absolutely fucking fantastic!

Funniest and best company I’ve ever ordered anything off of

G
Gary Wilds (Nottingham, GB)
Birthday card

Excellent service and quick delivery. More than happy to order again!

M
Megan Carter (Bradford, GB)
Perfect!

Dan has been great! Found the perfect card with speedy delivery to make the perfect inappropriate impact for my father’s birthday!

C
Chris Taylor (Llanelli, GB)
Brilliant

I ordered a birthday card and the wine stickers from the company and would definitely do so again. They were not only hilarious but good quality. I had a note from Dan attached with a personal signature thanking me for my order and instructions on how to apply the wine stickers. I really appreciate the personal touch and will certainly be ordering again.

Thank you so much Chris - what a lovely thing to say, really kind of you, and I'm glad you like your stuff, thank you so much!

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