You know it’s naughty, that’s why you do it

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Rude Birthday Card - Cunt Bear

Rude Birthday Card - Cunt Bear

Regular price £2.97
Regular price £3.99 Sale price £2.97
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Have you ever looked at cute little plush toys and wondered what they'd say if they could?

Me neither.

Asking myself that question now, however, I'm pretty sure that if they'd be the most foul disgusting little cunts you could ever have the misfortune to encounter.

I think it has something to do with thermodynamics and balancing forces; the visual cuteness has to be balanced by something.

Need help working out what to write in your card? Let Mila help!

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Imagine their face when they open it

Will they be surprised? Impressed? Offended? Will they giggle and drop a bit of wee into their pants.

Will they get a glimpse of what you're really like?

I hope so, you should be proud of how naughty you can be.

We get it

Every day you have to behave yourself and do all of the stupid crap that society expects you to.

You have to wear the right clothes, keep your job, be polite, try not to wave your important parts around in public, and remember not to say naughty words or offend anyone.

Be kind to yourself and give yourself a break, release some pressure and do something bad.

You owe it to yourself, and to your friends.  They’ll love you more for it, I can promise you that.

Very Important Questions

Can I get a refund if I don't like it?

If you don't like your card, just email me (dan@mrinappropriate.co.uk) within 30 days and I'll give you a full refund including postage, no questions asked.

You don't even need to send it back!

How big and thick is it?

Your card is 5" x 7" (5x7 inches).

The card material is 350gsm white silk card, which is thicker than most cards.

What's inside the card?

Nothing, it's totally blank; if you want any inspiration for what to write, talk to Mila!

What is it made from?

It is also FSC(R) certified - materials used to make the product have been ethically sourced from well-managed and sustainable forests.

The card is printed with the design on the front and a small logo on the back, and blank on the inside.

How will it be packaged?

This card and envelope will be shipped to you in a cellophane wrap and a card-backed envelope to make sure it doesn't get bent or wet.

If you order it along with other stuff, it might come to you in a box which is even safer!

Can I talk with you to check something?

Sure, call me on 01138730688 or email me at dan@mrinappropriate.co.uk, or use the little chat thingy at the bottom right.

When will I get my stuff?

If you order before 23:00 we'll send your order at 08:00 tomorrow (we only send on working days).

If you also order mugs, water bottles and anything fabric, they will arrive separately because they are printed to order.

You can choose from various shipping methods when you check out, the quickest being Royal Mail Tracked 24.

You'll notice that the cost of shipping is less than what it costs me

How much does shipping cost?

It will actually cost you less then it costs me, so don't worry, you won't get a horrible surprise when you check out.

You'll see a dropdown on the checkout page where you can choose the method you want to use.

Who or what is Mila?

Mila is our very own naughty little AI-driven assistant. Have a chat with her here and see what happens!

  • All orders before 11pm sent 8am next working day; mugs, water bottles and anything fabric will be sent a couple of days later

  • Full refund, no need to send back, just email us, no questions asked.

  • Free UK Tracked 24 shipping when you spend £25.

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Why?

With so many of us suffering from anxiety and depression, we need a way out, an escape, a way to break through the stupid social norms.

Our aim at Mr. Inappropriate is to give you a break from all that, be yourself, and have a laugh.

My name is Dan, I’m the founder of Mr. Inappropriate and I firmly believe that we’re not designed to live like this.

We haven’t changed much since the time when we ran around with a spear chasing something to fuck or eat, or escaping from someone else doing that.

And now, we have to deal with emails, debt, job and a million other things, not to mention the fact we’re not allowed to express ourselves anymore for fear of offending someone.

If you’re feeling stressed and anxious it’s hardly surprising.  

Let us help by giving you a moment to escape, have a giggle and not give a shit.

And help your friends do the same!

  • Custom card message and send it directly to your recipient.

  • Cards/candles: buy one get one 50% off.

  • All designs are hand drawn in our home office near Leeds.

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Customer Reviews

Based on 3 reviews
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W
Wayne Hartshorne (Greenwich, GB)
Super fast

Fast delivery made an error on my delivery address which was spotted by an email from the company. Quick to respond to the correct one brilliant.

Thank you so much Wayne, really kind of you to say, thank you!!

R
Richard Rockman (London, GB)
Great service

Messed up my order but Dan quickly sorted it out without any fuss.
Will definitely use again.

Thank you so much for that Richard, much appreciated!

M
M.C. (Winsford, GB)
Love it!

It's perfect! Great quality card. Fast delivery. This is the website I was looking for to get my own back on the husband who got me a birthday banner last year with "happy birthday piss flaps" on it. And balloons that said things like "another year older and still a cunt". Thanks for being part of my revenge plot! I will recommend you to my mum, dad and grandparents & all of my friends :)