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Soap Bottle - Freshly Squeezed Cum

Soap Bottle - Freshly Squeezed Cum

Regular price £5.97
Regular price £5.97 Sale price £5.97
Sale Sold out
Tax included. Shipping calculated at checkout.

Ships Next Day 8am (Mon-Fri)

“Brilliant items and Dan is a lovely man and very helpful.” - Jean Warneck

Add a card to your order with a custom message and send directly to your recipient!

If you can fill this yourself, or persuade a male friend to do it, you deserve some sort of prize.

I don't know if I could get away with running a contest like this, and then how do I select the winner?  Do I have to test somehow that it's really been done, and the bottle is really full, and it's genuine?

I don't really want to think about that.

Shouldn't have made this bottle design really.


Bit late now, people seem to like it so I'll carry on selling it for now at least.

Maybe you should buy one, and fill it with something that looks genuine, and leave it in the bathroom for guests to wonder about.  Maybe they'll have a sneaky sniff or a taste, just to check.  They know if they don't, they'll always be wondering.

Or if you can manage to fill it that would be the ultimate prank for your visitors when they 'check' it.

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    “Very good customer service. Quick efficient and good quality. Great to see some unique stuff you can’t get anywhere else will definitely be my go-to now.” - Christopher Tanton, Norwich

    Mr. Inappropriate

    Imagine their face when they open it

    Will they be surprised? Impressed? Offended? Will they giggle and drop a bit of wee into their pants.

    Will they get a glimpse of what you're really like?

    I hope so, you should be proud of how naughty you can be.

    We get it

    Every day you have to behave yourself and do all of the stupid crap that society expects you to.

    You have to wear the right clothes, keep your job, be polite, try not to wave your important parts around in public, and remember not to say naughty words or offend anyone.

    Be kind to yourself and give yourself a break, release some pressure and do something bad.

    You owe it to yourself, and to your friends.  They’ll love you more for it, I can promise you that.

    Very Important Questions

    Can I get a refund if I don't like it?

    If you don't like your soap bottle, just email me ( within 30 days and I'll give you a full refund including postage, no questions asked.

    You don't even need to send it back!

    How big is it?


    What is it made from?

    This 250ml bottle is made from high-quality clear PET plastic and includes a premium black and chrome pump.

    The labels are made from expensive gloss material with good resistance to immersion in water.

    What will be in it?

    Sorry, nothing, you'll have to fill it yourself!

    How will it be packaged?

    Your bottle will be carefully packaged by hand in a cardboard box, nested in a load of kraft dunnage.

    Can I talk with you to check something?

    Sure, call me on 01138730688 or email me at, or use the little chat thingy at the bottom right.

    When will I get my stuff?

    If you order before 23:00 we'll send your order at 08:00 tomorrow (we only send on working days).

    If you also order mugs, water bottles and anything fabric, they will arrive separately because they are printed to order.

    You can choose from various shipping methods when you check out, the quickest being Royal Mail Tracked 24.

    You'll notice that the cost of shipping is less than what it costs me

    How much does shipping cost?

    It will actually cost you less then it costs me, so don't worry, you won't get a horrible surprise when you check out.

    You'll see a dropdown on the checkout page where you can choose the method you want to use.

    Who or what is Mila?

    Mila is our very own naughty little AI-driven assistant. Have a chat with her and see what happens!

    • Mr. Inappropriate

      All orders before 11pm sent 8am next working day; mugs, water bottles and anything fabric will be sent a couple of days later

    • Mr. Inappropriate

      Full refund, no need to send back, just email us, no questions asked.

    • Mr. Inappropriate

      Free UK Tracked 24 shipping when you spend £25.

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    Or amaze them with a bundle!


    With so many of us suffering from anxiety and depression, we need a way out, an escape, a way to break through the stupid social norms.

    Our aim at Mr. Inappropriate is to give you a break from all that, be yourself, and have a laugh.

    My name is Dan, I’m the founder of Mr. Inappropriate and I firmly believe that we’re not designed to live like this.

    We haven’t changed much since the time when we ran around with a spear chasing something to fuck or eat, or escaping from someone else doing that.

    And now, we have to deal with emails, debt, job and a million other things, not to mention the fact we’re not allowed to express ourselves anymore for fear of offending someone.

    If you’re feeling stressed and anxious it’s hardly surprising.  

    Let us help by giving you a moment to escape, have a giggle and not give a shit.

    And help your friends do the same!

    And get a set of cards?

    • Mr. Inappropriate

      Custom card message and send it directly to your recipient.

    • Mr. Inappropriate

      Cards/candles: buy one get one 50% off.

    • Mr. Inappropriate

      All designs are hand drawn in our home office near Leeds.

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    Customer Reviews

    Based on 22 reviews
    Andrew (Bury, GB)
    Rude hand soap

    Perfect for those ‘horrible’ people you love and couldn’t live without

    Sophie Wood (Lincoln, GB)
    Excellent products

    Amazing products and service, highly recommend ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

    Gary C. (Manchester, GB)
    Fantastic service

    Dan is the man when it comes to these perfect novelty items, will definitely be recommending and buying again.

    Jill Meldrum-Jones (Stratford-upon-Avon, GB)
    Brilliant gift

    Excellent gift for friends. They especially appreciated the cream coloured soap we used to really ‘finish’ off the job!

    Georgie (Birmingham, GB)
    Brilliant gifts for wrong people

    So glad I found this website. My friend is getting a new bathroom soon so this was the perfect gift. Arrived very quickly and he loved it. Thank you

    Thank you Georgie - I think your friend will love you even more when they receive this, do let me know how it goes! Thank you so much :)