Dirty anniversary wishes for wife

Table of Contents

• Overview
• Summary
• Why do you want to send a dirty anniversary wish?
• What is it you want?
• Are there any risks?
• Some ideas for dirty anniversary wishes for your wife
• The subtle approach...
• A little more playful...
• A little more direct...
• A lot more direct...
• A little bit threatening (in a playful way!)...
• How should I send these dirty messages?
• In person
• Verbally or written?
• Text message or paper?
• The next step: How should I deliver my message?
• What else should I consider?

Overview

The best way to give a dirty anniversary wish to your wife is to say something that makes her laugh and feel like you fancy her. This could be a message, a card, a gift, or something else. This article gives examples of each as well as some general advice.

Summary

As with most things in life, it's easy to over-think this and worry about whether she'll find it funny or offensive. You know her better than anyone so just think about the sort of thing she likes and do that! If you get it wrong it's not the end of the world, just try to relax, have fun and enjoy it. Also, if you want more information or would like to ask me a question please use the contact form linked in the menu at the top of this page.

Why do you want to send a dirty anniversary wish?

The reason you're reading this is probably one of two things: either you know what you're doing and you're confident that she'll like it, or you feel like your relationship needs spicing up a bit, or maybe both. I'm guessing it's the latter; that's usually why people contact me asking about this sort of thing.

If I am right then don't worry - feeling like this is very common; I suspect most couples start to feel like this after a while but they don't talk about it because they're embarrassed. This means they just carry on acting out their passionless lives because they think they're not normal, when in reality it's quite the opposite. In fact I think it's more unusual for couples who have been together for more than five years to keep their passion alive without any effort.

This is why we need to make an effort. It's so easy to fall into boring routines because life is so demanding these days with so many things that we must do; whether it's work, family commitments or something else.

What is it you want?

Before anything else it's worth thinking about what it is you're trying to achieve. Do you just want to make her laugh? Do you just want some attention? Or do you really want something more than that? Maybe some kind of excitement with her?

I expect it's a combination of all three but whichever it is, we need to be clear so that we can plan what you're going to do and how you're going to do it!

Are there any risks?

Like I said, you'll know her better than anyone but if your relationship has become boring (like most) then it'll be hard for anyone (including you) to predict how she will react because whatever happens it'll be different from normal.

So yes there are some risks but what are they? The worst case scenario is that she gets annoyed and doesn't talk to you for a while. That doesn't sound too bad does it? And even if she does get upset at least it'll break up the routine!

Some ideas for dirty anniversary wishes for your wife

I'll go through several ideas ranging from those that'll get her attention for sure, going through various levels of naughtiness!

The subtle approach...

• You have my permission tonight.

A little more playful...

• I know what I'm having for dinner tonight!

A little more direct...

• I hope I get my favourite dessert tonight!

A lot more direct...

• I can't wait until dinner time - I hope you've been eating pineapple!

A little bit threatening (in a playful way!)...

• If I don't get my favourite dessert tonight I'll hold your head under the duvet after I've farted until you've had enough!

How should I send these dirty messages?

In person

This has got be my favourite way - whatever happens you'll see her reaction and you'll see exactly how she's feeling.

Verbally or written?

If you're brave enough (and able) then saying it out loud directly will have much more impact but sometimes this isn't possible. Most people (including me) are not good at saying this sort of thing face-to-face so writing might be better. As always though, if something makes us nervous that's usually because we're not used to doing it which means it's unusual which means it's exciting!

Text message or paper?

This depends on many factors including whether she's with someone else (although I'd suggest that sending her an inappropriate message while she's at work) or can take time alone. Again though I'd suggest whichever method feels "scarier" because that'll make it exciting.

The next step: How should I deliver my message?

• The classic text message - everyone does this.

• A hand-written note left somewhere where she’ll find it by accident – maybe in her bag or pocket.

• Email – again pretty standard but depending where she is when she reads it could have an interesting effect.

• If she uses public transport then maybe print out your note and hide it in one of those free newspapers on the train – obviously tell her which seat and carriage etc.

What else should I consider?

You don’t need an excuse or reason!

People often ask how they can find an excuse to surprise their partner with something… why do we feel we need an excuse?! It’s absurd! Just go ahead and do whatever it is! If you really think that she'll wonder why then make up some silly excuse – “I was just thinking about our upcoming wedding anniversary”, although if that's true then maybe that's not such a silly excuse after all.

You’re not being naughty!

I often hear people worrying about being told off by their partner; when I ask them what they mean by “being told off” they usually don’t know… maybe they’d get frowned at or shouted at… ok well that’s not ideal but they’re hardly going call the police are they?! Even if they did (which they wouldn’t) what would they say? “My husband sent me a slightly rude message”?! It’s ridiculous when you think about it.

I’m sure he’ll like whatever you say – as long as you’re trying!

As with most things in relationships all he wants is for you show him some attention; he wants to feel wanted and special – just like us really! It doesn’t matter if he doesn’t particularly like whatever gift or experience you choose – he’ll love the fact that you've done something nice anyway. He'll also appreciate knowing how much effort you've gone through because he'll understand how awkward we can feel doing stuff like this.

The important thing is that you've tried his best – even if he doesn’t like what you've chosen.

Summary:

I know I've already said this but I'll say it again: most people are too shy when expressing themselves with their partners, and both sides are waiting for the other one to make the first move. So often when someone finally does reach out and try something new they're surprised by how well it's received.
It applies both ways - men are scared of upsetting their partner by suggesting something intimate and women tend not even think about suggesting anything.
I'll keep saying this until everyone realises - we're all human beings; both men and women want nice intimate things, but we've all been programmed by society into thinking that we shouldn't.
The only way we'll change this awful situation is if people take responsibility for themselves and stand up for themselves by simply doing what feels right rather than blindly following others' expectations..