Small Valentine's Anniversary Candle - Blowjob
Small Valentine's Anniversary Candle - Blowjob
Ships Next Day 8am (Mon-Fri)
“Great customer service, went above and beyond to help, definitely recommend!” - Ashleigh Harn, Herrington
When I made this one, I really thought it would be mostly men who would buy it, but that's not the case. ALL of the people who have bought it have been female, which makes sense I guess.
It makes me realise that this is the sort of thing you buy for your partner because you love them and want to make them happy. AND because you enjoy the process of making them happy!
That makes it a win-win for everyone concerned; you'd only buy it if you like giving, and everyone likes receiving, right?
So give your partner a treat, I can promise you he'll be very happy about it; you'll have the proof right in front of your face (and maybe all over it).
“Absolutely brilliant, good quality, fast delivery, and a good bit of rude humour! Excellent customer service from an actual human too.” - Alicia Caulfield, Newcastle upon Tyne
Imagine their face when they open it
Will they be surprised? Impressed? Offended? Will they giggle and drop a bit of wee into their pants.
Will they get a glimpse of what you're really like?
I hope so, you should be proud of how naughty you can be.
We get it
Every day you have to behave yourself and do all of the stupid crap that society expects you to.
You have to wear the right clothes, keep your job, be polite, try not to wave your important parts around in public, and remember not to say naughty words or offend anyone.
Be kind to yourself and give yourself a break, release some pressure and do something bad.
You owe it to yourself, and to your friends. They’ll love you more for it, I can promise you that.
Very Important Questions
Can I get a refund if I don't like it?
If you don't like your candle, just email me (dan@mrinappropriate.co.uk) within 30 days and I'll give you a full refund including postage, no questions asked.
You don't even need to send it back!
What does it really smell of?
Cosy and lovely vanilla! Sorry, I know that's disappointing...
How big is it?
The candle measures 7.5cm diameter by 7cm height and has a burning time of 20 hours.
What is it made from?
At least 50% of the was in this product is renewable plant-based wax.
The labels are made from expensive matte stickers with an embossed texture.
What is the box made from?
The box is made from quality 380gsm KSC certified Kraft cardboard.
How will it be packaged?
Your candle will be carefully packaged by hand in a cardboard box, nested in a load of kraft dunnage.
What when it's burnt out?
When the candle has burnt itself out you can use the glass to store nails and toenails.
What safety advice do you have?
Never leave a burning candle unattended and keep away from things that can catch fire.
Can I talk with you to check something?
Sure, call me on 01138730688 or email me at dan@mrinappropriate.co.uk, or use the little chat thingy at the bottom right.
When will I get my stuff?
If you order before 23:00 we'll send your order at 08:00 tomorrow (we only send on working days).
If you also order mugs, water bottles and anything fabric, they will arrive separately because they are printed to order.
You can choose from various shipping methods when you check out, the quickest being Royal Mail Tracked 24.
You'll notice that the cost of shipping is less than what it costs me
How much does shipping cost?
It will actually cost you less then it costs me, so don't worry, you won't get a horrible surprise when you check out.
You'll see a dropdown on the checkout page where you can choose the method you want to use.
Who or what is Mila?
Mila is our very own naughty little AI-driven assistant. Have a chat with her and see what happens!
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Why?
With so many of us suffering from anxiety and depression, we need a way out, an escape, a way to break through the stupid social norms.
Our aim at Mr. Inappropriate is to give you a break from all that, be yourself, and have a laugh.
My name is Dan, I’m the founder of Mr. Inappropriate and I firmly believe that we’re not designed to live like this.
We haven’t changed much since the time when we ran around with a spear chasing something to fuck or eat, or escaping from someone else doing that.
And now, we have to deal with emails, debt, job and a million other things, not to mention the fact we’re not allowed to express ourselves anymore for fear of offending someone.
If you’re feeling stressed and anxious it’s hardly surprising.
Let us help by giving you a moment to escape, have a giggle and not give a shit.
And help your friends do the same!
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Fabulous candle , great communication from seller , arrived quickly and well packaged!
Would order again 😜 x
This candle smells lush,way better than any actual blow job I've ever known which encouraged me to have a mental stroll through the supermarket aisles of my relationship debris...I think I've been dating the wrong men.
Truth be told,I haven't lit this candle yet.I bought it as a prank,I was going to slip it in*that's what she said* with the candles at the local church and laugh when Mrs Price from number 38 lit this one by mistake.
But before i could,I had a mysterious text,no words,just this picture.
Threat or warning?
I think I'll keep the candle at home even though I'm not after having a blow job,it really does smell delicious.
Firstly the price and product was great. The candle smells amazing. But honestly Dan goes above and beyond with customer service! Emailed to say it would be sent out, gave me a lucky number, and actually replied when I sent a message back.
As I said the product is fun, smells great and I hope it gets lit a lot! But, will definitely come back to purchase more bits just because of Dan. Thank you Kerry
Fun gift and smells nice
Great novelty item. Delivery was quick and the candle smells great. Would order from here again!
Thank you so much for saying that, and I'm glad you like it, much appreciated!