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Misfortune Teller - PLEASE NO MORE THAN TWO!!

Misfortune Teller - PLEASE NO MORE THAN TWO!!

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Let me tell your fortune!

Actually that was not a genuine offer, you can tell your own fortune, and the fortune of your friends, for the price of just 1p of money.  That's all.

And don't think it's cheap, just because it's only 1p, I spent a lot of time with The Oracle to make sure I have all eventualities covered with this piece of machinery, so don't underestimate it.

If you're wondering what your possible fortune could be, I can't tell you here, but it could have something to do with otters and badgers nesting somewhere, or maybe crunchy dangleberries, or could be something completely different.  You'll have to get one to find out!

You could take it to a party and leave it on the dinner table, give it to a friend inside a birthday card (which you could also buy from me as the postage will be combined with this), or just tell your friends' fortune with it!

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Mr. Inappropriate

Imagine their face when they open it

Will they be surprised? Impressed? Offended? Will they giggle and drop a bit of wee into their pants.

Will they get a glimpse of what you're really like?

I hope so, you should be proud of how naughty you can be.

We get it

Every day you have to behave yourself and do all of the stupid crap that society expects you to.

You have to wear the right clothes, keep your job, be polite, try not to wave your important parts around in public, and remember not to say naughty words or offend anyone.

Be kind to yourself and give yourself a break, release some pressure and do something bad.

You owe it to yourself, and to your friends.  They’ll love you more for it, I can promise you that.

Very Important Questions

Can I talk with you to check something?

Sure, call me on 01138730688 or email me at, or use the little chat thingy at the bottom right.

When will I get my stuff?

If you order before 23:00 we'll send your order at 08:00 tomorrow (we only send on working days).

The only exceptions to this is mugs, water bottles and anything fabric. Because they are printed to order, they'll be sent separately a couple of days later.

You can choose from various shipping methods when you check out, the quickest being Royal Mail Tracked 24.

You'll notice that the cost of shipping is less than what it costs me

How much does shipping cost?

It will actually cost you less then it costs me, so don't worry, you won't get a horrible surprise when you check out.

You'll see a dropdown on the checkout page where you can choose the method you want to use.

Are your cards any good?

Yeah they're amazing.

Seriously though, they're made from 250gsm white silk card which is thicker than most greetings cards. It feels kind of silky too, which is nice.

What do the candles really smell of?

Vanilla, not jizz and farts sadly.

Can I return something?


Honestly you can't, but if you want a refund, just email me and I'll give you a refund including postage, you don't need to send it back, and no questions asked (although I'd really like to know what I did wrong!).

Who or what is Mila?

Mila is our very own naughty little AI-driven assistant. Have a chat with her and see what happens!

  • Mr. Inappropriate

    All orders before 11pm sent 8am next working day.*

  • Mr. Inappropriate

    Full refund, no need to send back, just email us, no questions asked.

  • Mr. Inappropriate

    Free Tracked 24 shipping when you spend £25.

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With so many of us suffering from anxiety and depression, we need a way out, an escape, a way to break through the stupid social norms.

Our aim at Mr. Inappropriate is to give you a break from all that, be yourself, and have a laugh.

My name is Dan, I’m the founder of Mr. Inappropriate and I firmly believe that we’re not designed to live like this.

We haven’t changed much since the time when we ran around with a spear chasing something to fuck or eat, or escaping from someone else doing that.

And now, we have to deal with emails, debt, job and a million other things, not to mention the fact we’re not allowed to express ourselves anymore for fear of offending someone.

If you’re feeling stressed and anxious it’s hardly surprising.  

Let us help by giving you a moment to escape, have a giggle and not give a shit.

And help your friends do the same!

  • Mr. Inappropriate

    Custom card message and send it directly to your recipient.

  • Mr. Inappropriate

    Cards/candles: buy one get one 50% off.

  • Mr. Inappropriate

    All designs are hand drawn in our home office near Leeds.

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Customer Reviews

Based on 22 reviews
Emma Gridley (Great Yarmouth, GB)
Simply fabulous!

Dan never disappoints with his unique gifts based on his even more unique humour! My sister and I have had great fun with the misfortune teller! Tell your mates about this brilliant site. I'll be ordering again! 😁

Tracey Watson (Trowbridge, GB)
Misfortune Teller

Love it! Good for a laugh with friends

Gemma Russell (Belfast, GB)

Great, funny wee game....and it was free!!

Mrsrichardyewtree (Slough, GB)
Oh no,tragedy strikes☹☹

An update on my previous review...and this is no diss on the product itself which is wonderful.
No,the problem lies with me.I played with it a bit too much and broke it.
Well actually not broke but something's gone wrong,I can't get it to go back to how it was before😕.
No photo this time,nobody needs to see that.

Mrsrichardyewtree (Tonypandy, GB)
Hours of fun even if you feel slightly grubby afterwards

This is a great product and fantastic value.
In the spirit of honesty I will say that so far,I have only played with myself.
Don't misunderstand me,it's still enjoyable but never quite the same as having another person play with you.
With luck,I'll find someone soon who is willing to let me play with them but until then,I'm more than content to carry on as i did this morning.
If you are wary about purchasing one because you know you'll end up sat at home playing with yourself,don't let that put you off!There are things you can do to mix it up even whilst alone.
For instance,I tried closing my eyes so i didn't know what was coming.
My favourite was using my non dominant hand to open the flap though,it really made it feel as though someone else was playing with me!
You wait,once you have it in your hands you'll come up with all kinds of interesting things you can do with it
One thing,the joke is on the owner of this website because i already have been admitted to hospital with a toy fire truck stuck up my fundament.It wasn't Lego though,it was one of those ride along ones.
Still,I bet the guy who made these feels pretty foolish now!!