Misfortune Teller
Misfortune Teller
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NOTE: I will fold a maximum of two for you. You're welcome to order as many as you like but I'll only fold a maximum of two.
Let me tell your fortune!
Actually that was not a genuine offer, you can tell your own fortune, and the fortune of your friends, for the price of just 1p of money. That's all.
And don't think it's cheap, just because it's only 1p, I spent a lot of time with The Oracle to make sure I have all eventualities covered with this piece of machinery, so don't underestimate it.
If you're wondering what your possible fortune could be, I can't tell you here, but it could have something to do with otters and badgers nesting somewhere, or maybe crunchy dangleberries, or could be something completely different. You'll have to get one to find out!
You could take it to a party and leave it on the dinner table, give it to a friend inside a birthday card (which you could also buy from me as the postage will be combined with this), or just tell your friends' fortune with it!
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Imagine their face when they open it
Will they be surprised? Impressed? Offended? Will they giggle and drop a bit of wee into their pants.
Will they get a glimpse of what you're really like?
I hope so, you should be proud of how naughty you can be.
We get it
Every day you have to behave yourself and do all of the stupid crap that society expects you to.
You have to wear the right clothes, keep your job, be polite, try not to wave your important parts around in public, and remember not to say naughty words or offend anyone.
Be kind to yourself and give yourself a break, release some pressure and do something bad.
You owe it to yourself, and to your friends. They’ll love you more for it, I can promise you that.
Very Important Questions
Can I talk with you to check something?
Sure, call me on 01138730688 or email me at dan@mrinappropriate.co.uk, or use the little chat thingy at the bottom right.
When will I get my stuff?
If you order before 23:00 we'll send your order at 08:00 tomorrow (we only send on working days).
The only exceptions to this is mugs, water bottles and anything fabric. Because they are printed to order, they'll be sent separately a couple of days later.
You can choose from various shipping methods when you check out, the quickest being Royal Mail Tracked 24.
You'll notice that the cost of shipping is less than what it costs me
How much does shipping cost?
It will actually cost you less then it costs me, so don't worry, you won't get a horrible surprise when you check out.
You'll see a dropdown on the checkout page where you can choose the method you want to use.
Are your cards any good?
Yeah they're amazing.
Seriously though, they're made from 250gsm white silk card which is thicker than most greetings cards. It feels kind of silky too, which is nice.
What do the candles really smell of?
Vanilla, not jizz and farts sadly.
Can I return something?
Nope.
Honestly you can't, but if you want a refund, just email me and I'll give you a refund including postage, you don't need to send it back, and no questions asked (although I'd really like to know what I did wrong!).
Who or what is Mila?
Mila is our very own naughty little AI-driven assistant. Have a chat with her and see what happens!
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All orders before 11pm sent next working day; mugs, water bottles and anything fabric will be sent a couple of days later.
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Full refund, no need to send back, just email us, no questions asked.
Why?
With so many of us suffering from anxiety and depression, we need a way out, an escape, a way to break through the stupid social norms.
Our aim at Mr. Inappropriate is to give you a break from all that, be yourself, and have a laugh.
My name is Dan, I’m the founder of Mr. Inappropriate and I firmly believe that we’re not designed to live like this.
We haven’t changed much since the time when we ran around with a spear chasing something to fuck or eat, or escaping from someone else doing that.
And now, we have to deal with emails, debt, job and a million other things, not to mention the fact we’re not allowed to express ourselves anymore for fear of offending someone.
If you’re feeling stressed and anxious it’s hardly surprising.
Let us help by giving you a moment to escape, have a giggle and not give a shit.
And help your friends do the same!
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Custom card message and send it directly to your recipient.
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All designs are hand drawn in our home office near Leeds.
So fun and made lots of friends laugh
Arrived really quickly and Dan is amazing with communication! Thanks so much and what a fab buisness!!
Fetch this out after a few drinks at a party to either cause a stir or jolly it up!!..it's saucy fun for almost next to nothing.
Glad to have discovered this site I will use it again but hoping to see more stuff 😊 Thanks Lyndy
Wet funny, great quality!
So funny 😁. It was a blast from the past with a rude twist lol. Love it 👍