One of my previous jobs was working for the IT department of a large supermarket chain.
That bit isn't really relevant apart from that the office had a large canteen where you could get all sorts of food at any time of day.
On one unsuspecting Tuesday, I got a full English breakfast with bacon, eggs and all of the usual stuff, but most importantly, sausages. I didn't realise when I was buying it, that one of these sausages was to be the Chosen One.
I don't know who chose it or why, but it clearly didn't want to be eaten. When I'd finished eating, there it was, looking up at me, as if to say 'what now?'.
Obviously the only thing I could do was to pop it into a jacket pocket that hung on the back of the chair next to me. I knew it had to be set free; there was no other choice. If you had seen it, you'd understand.
Thinking nothing of it, I continued with whatever stupid crap I was doing.
It wasn't until the next morning when we met again. Steve (not his real name) walked up to me with The Sausage in his hand, asking if I'd lost something. Unsurprisingly he'd guessed it was something to do with me, so together we selected the next lucky recipient.
We chose Craig (also not his real name). A Scouser with a side-parting, expensive clothes, and a splendid Gucci man bag. So we popped the little fellow in there, for its next little journey. The next day, a little saddened by his now sausage flavoured velvet lined satchel, Craig had no choice but to send The Sausage on to the next part of its adventure.
So this continued for about three weeks until one day it just disappeared.
To where, nobody knew.
I sometimes dream of the sausage, and will probably never know where it ended up.
From this point, the uninvited food related gifts escalated, and ended up with a full breakfast emptied into someone's laptop bag. This is probably a story for another day but it was pretty funny. Well funny for me as it wasn't my bag. Also, one terminal move which involved a slice of cake inserted into a laptop with the being lid closed until it clicked.
Have you ever messed about with food when you shouldn't?
Maybe as a kid? If so please tell me about it!
