Overview
The chances are if you want to buy a candle for someone you want to convey some sort of message; in this article I help you think through what it is you want to say and how to go about it. It might be something simple sexy request or a bold statement; have a look and a think and see what sort of message I can help you say.
Should you buy a erotic/kinky candle that might lead to sex?
To answer this you need to think about who it’s for and what you hope to achieve. The most popular candles we sell are ‘light me when you want a blowjob’ and ‘light me when you want a face to sit on’. For both of these, if you really concentrate and think about it you can probably work out the sort of person it’s for and what you’d hope to achieve by buying it.
Another popular naughty option is the ‘bum stuff’ candle which I think is very useful for a lot of people. Many couples find it hard to communicate about what they want sexually, and these candles offer a good solution to that; it can be very awkward to say to someone ‘can you please lick my bum hole’. Better to light a candle and they can take the hint or leave it, without the pressure.
Of course, there are pussy and cum scented candles which can be good as a sexual reminder, or as a mean tease for someone who is single and never gets any sex!
Or is it better to just get something rude and a bit dirty?
As you’d expect, we sell a range of delicious candles from ‘dry leathery flaps’ to ‘dried wank sock’, and I think even the simplest of us realises that they don’t actually smell of that. In the description of the ‘aged smegma’ one I joke about not showering for a week, so that I can harvest a good clod of smeg to make the wax, but clearly it’s a
joke. Anyway, someone bought a ‘sweaty minge’ candle and submitted a one-star review complaining that it didn’t actually smell of minge. The review reads:
‘Disappointed’ - Doesn’t smell like sweaty minge at all.
I don’t really know what else to say, although I do wonder whose minge she compared it with, if it was with her own, how did she smell it? Did she dip something in there and then sniff it, or get a friend to compare?
Who knows. I should ask her really.
Or maybe you’d want something simple and a lovely gift for anyone; the most popular of that sort is definitely the ‘have a nice poo’ candle. It looks class enough to work in a smart bathroom without cheapening it.
What about candle sizes?
No I’m not going to make any sort of weak joke about whether size matters.
We currently have three sizes, they’re all pretty good value but I think the medium ones are best.
They’re roughly the size of a decent-sized mug, they come wrapped in black tissue and packed in a solid black presentation box. Just like the small ones.
The large ones however are really bog, bigger than a pint class and can be gift-wrapped if you like. They don’t come in a box as that would cost me too much.
