How to make your lover feel loved
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It all comes down to being thoughtful, pay attention to what they want and make the effort. If you do that and don't just focus on what you want, you can't go wrong.
Table of Contents
- Why are you even asking this?
- Why do people need to feel loved?
- What can you do about it?
- What should I say?
- What should I do if they say yes?
Why are you even asking this?
If you're reading this, it could be because your partner has told you that they don't feel loved by you. Or maybe they haven't actually said it but you've noticed that they're not acting the same as they used to. Or maybe you've just been paying attention and realised you've been a bit distracted lately.
The fact that you're here reading this means you're making an effort which is a good start, but it's only the beginning.
Why do people need to feel loved?
I've thought about this a lot, and I think it comes down to security. The world is a scary place and we're all afraid of being left alone. It's instinctive.
Think about what happens if you're not loved: you'll be abandoned and then you'll have to go out there and find someone else. You'll either fail and die alone, or get lucky and find someone else who loves you. Maybe that's the upside? I suppose it depends who you're with at the moment.
What can you do about it?
The most important thing is to pay attention and notice when they're feeling insecure. The fact that you're reading this means you've already done that, so well done!
The next thing is simply to talk about it. Just ask them how they're feeling at the moment, whether they're happy in the relationship or anything else you'd like to know.
Of course that's easier said than done; if you're not used to talking like that it can feel very awkward so it's probably best just to get straight on with it and ask them directly if you think they're feeling unloved.
What should I say?
This isn't something I can answer for you; you'll just have to take a deep breath and say whatever comes into your head!
What should I do if they say yes?
If they've admitted it (or even if they haven't), it's time for some proper communication. Ask them how they're feeling, why they think it's happening and what they'd like from you. Again I can't tell you what words to use but I think they'll appreciate you just being open about it.
Dan
LinkedIn profileAfter 25+ years juggling IT and management, Dan realized that many people (including friends, family, and coworkers) were grappling with anxiety and stress brought on by modern life. Determined to offer some comic relief, he founded Mr. Inappropriate, an online store for wonderfully rude and funny adult gifts and cards. Through weekly true stories, naughty product lines, and genuine one-on-one connections with customers, Dan’s mission is to help people safely push social boundaries, share a good laugh, and discover that being a bit “inappropriate” can be surprisingly therapeutic. A proud Yorkshire resident, Dan remains steadfast in his belief that humour is one of the best ways to escape the pressures of everyday life, and that a well-timed, mischievous gift can often o more good than any pill.
