I hope you're well and happy :)
This one is a little different from usual.
A few months ago I posted this on my Facebook Page and boosted it so extra people got to see it:
Depiction of a fart coming out of a bum
Over the next few days, this post received about 1,200 comments, so I'm going to share some of the comments here for you to giggle at!
If you want to see the rest, just click on the picture and go to the post on that page which is pinned to the top.
------
Yeah it definitely depends, there are few things more satisfying when you're outside on a windy day, and you can taste your own pump, but on the other hand, it's also pretty good when your neighbours complain about the noise. Tricky one...
Smelly then deaf people get to know too.
Oh yay, is that one that lifts you off the seat? I love those! If you wear a skirt while you're doing one of those, can you be a hovercraft?
Loud and Proud. It does at least give the more sensitive the opportunity to head for a bunker. My Daughter gives supersonic sound masterclasses if anyone is interested.
Do pumps have lumps in them ????
A Fart Is A Volcanic Eruption It Comes From The Mountains Of Bum It Flows Through The Valley Of Trousers And Comes Out With A Dirty Great Hum
If they are dry, they are all golden.
Horses for courses here. A smelly one dropped during an occasion that calls for silence and respect can be just as effective as an arse blasting ear drum rupturing thunderous rasp. Which ever one you choose to do remember to enjoy it
Ok, this came up last night on my FB, I was reading this until I was laughing with tears running down my face, had family over so my daughter says I don't want to know as she knows I've got a warped sense of humour, I'm the person that laughs at u tube videos of dogs farting. So thanks for giving me a good laugh, I will definitely looking out for you more often.
Stinky AND loud, no point in letting rip otherwise.
Sometimes the silent ones are better, I remember being at work and a silent one sneaked out and unfortunately for me one of my colleagues came in to try and decide what to have for his lunch, the smell was too much for him and he decided to come back later.
Loud in a lift. (Elavator) I let one go. There was school girls in there with older people. The girls laughed. The older people stared at me. Even one summer sitting in a building at a table.
Two women I knew sitting opposite. Behind me two stand up fans keeping us cool. Me doing silent ones. Day before I had onions for dinner. They called me a Skank. Their eyes was streaming in tears. So funny.
My Hubby dropped a huge fart in our local and got a standing ovation..Feeling like some kind of Demi God he took a bow...Myself however was under the table.....He frequently did this in packed super markets and queues for the cash point........i used to pretend to be his carer and apologise..........
Both - better out than in! Loud is best in a concert when the orchestra hits a quiet patch in the music. Stinky is best in a car full of mates or in a crowded lift at work!
This is really a tricky one. Both can be applied in all scenarios. Elevator with upper managment from your company? Let out a sneaker. Payback to the man. Imposing Trumpets of Jericho should ascend you in the pecking order and assure the respect of the upper class.
Classical concert: sneaky one is good because everyone is too posh and well behaved to do or say anything and you can admire your work by observing the other's efforts to keep it together. Waiting for a break in the music and playing 1st trombone is just hilarious and makes the entire ordeal less depressingly stiff and uptight.
Aunt Marcy's funeral? Sneaky one distracts from grief. A loud voice from the other side should just lift everyone's spirit.
I can't think of a scenario where both were not adequate
Sometimes the silent ones are better, I remember being at work and a silent one sneaked out and unfortunately for me one of my colleagues came in to try and decide what to have for his lunch, the smell was too much for him and he decided to come back later.
My dog does silent ones but bloody hell do they smell. He sleeps on my pillow and farts in my face.
A guy at work could manafacture a fart that was more like a high pitched squeel - very individual and totally unique, never seen anybody copy that
.
A real thunderous, quaking fart that comes straight from the top of your guts is the best. The relief, that empty feeling in the bread basket is a joy to be hold. Smell is just a bonus to be fair.
I was traveling with ten men in the back of a Ford Transit Van, one farted after eating a bag of Buck Whelks, that day I saw 8 men crying, all gathered around the two tiny ventilators at the back of the Van,! The doors were locked by the way.
Stealth Mode is perfect when walking past a bunch of people in an office, leaving an oily but (almost) invisible slug trail behind you.
It's entirely situational although sometimes floating an air biscuit that lingers for a good while can have hilarious outcomes, other times a good cheek clapper gets the best results. Once at high school i got sent to sit in the middle of the school field during first period history as they stank so bad, come lunch time the history master saw me still sat there, walked over and asked "Sharpe what are you still doing here?", to which I replied with by means of a loud fart, suffice to say I stayed there till home time.
OK I think that's enough for now, I hope that gave you a giggle.
