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Large Candle - Hot Fart

Large Candle - Hot Fart

Regular price £16.97
Regular price £12.97 Sale price £16.97
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Ships Next Day 8am (Mon-Fri)

“My 2nd purchase from here and I wasn't disappointed, great products and excellent communication from Dan, keep up the good work” - Steve Rowley, Stoke-on-Trent

During my weeks of analysis I've discovered that the quality of the bum crack greatly affects the scent of the outcome.

You might think that the particular type of oily juice that reaches your nose is a direct result of what was eaten or whether the creator needs a plop, but that is only half of the story.

A bit like a fine wine, the body is very different to the nose.  Same with a nice hot pump.

The nose comes from the crack, how greasy it is, whether it was wiped properly, amount of hair and so many other things.

So you might thing 'uh hhuh yeah that's a funny candle', but please stop for a minute to consider all of the experimentation and washing machine loads that went into the research for a product that sells for only a few pounds of money.

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“Absolutely brilliant, good quality, fast delivery, and a good bit of rude humour! Excellent customer service from an actual human too.” - Alicia Caulfield, Newcastle upon Tyne

Mr. Inappropriate

Imagine their face when they open it

Will they be surprised? Impressed? Offended? Will they giggle and drop a bit of wee into their pants.

Will they get a glimpse of what you're really like?

I hope so, you should be proud of how naughty you can be.

We get it

Every day you have to behave yourself and do all of the stupid crap that society expects you to.

You have to wear the right clothes, keep your job, be polite, try not to wave your important parts around in public, and remember not to say naughty words or offend anyone.

Be kind to yourself and give yourself a break, release some pressure and do something bad.

You owe it to yourself, and to your friends.  They’ll love you more for it, I can promise you that.

Very Important Questions

Can I get a refund if I don't like it?

If you don't like your candle, just email me (dan@mrinappropriate.co.uk) within 30 days and I'll give you a full refund including postage, no questions asked.

You don't even need to send it back!

What does it really smell of?

Cosy and lovely coconut! Sorry, I know that's disappointing...

How big is it?

The candle measures 10cm diameter by 16cm height and has a burning time of 100 hours.

What is it made from?

At least 50% of the was in this product is renewable plant-based wax.

The labels are made from expensive matte stickers with an embossed texture.

How will it be packaged?

Your candle will be carefully wrapped in kraft paper with a ribbon around it, then packaged by hand in a cardboard box, nested in a load of kraft dunnage.

What when it's burnt out?

When the candle has burnt itself out you can use the glass to store nails and toenails.

What safety advice do you have?

Never leave a burning candle unattended and keep away from things that can catch fire.

Can I talk with you to check something?

Sure, call me on 01138730688 or email me at dan@mrinappropriate.co.uk, or use the little chat thingy at the bottom right.

When will I get my stuff?

If you order before 23:00 we'll send your order at 08:00 tomorrow (we only send on working days).

If you also order mugs, water bottles and anything fabric, they will arrive separately because they are printed to order.

You can choose from various shipping methods when you check out, the quickest being Royal Mail Tracked 24.

You'll notice that the cost of shipping is less than what it costs me

How much does shipping cost?

It will actually cost you less then it costs me, so don't worry, you won't get a horrible surprise when you check out.

You'll see a dropdown on the checkout page where you can choose the method you want to use.

Who or what is Mila?

Mila is our very own naughty little AI-driven assistant. Have a chat with her and see what happens!

  • Mr. Inappropriate

    All orders before 11pm sent next working day; mugs, water bottles and anything fabric will be sent a couple of days later.

  • Mr. Inappropriate

    Full refund, no need to send back, just email us, no questions asked.

  • Mr. Inappropriate

    Free UK Tracked 24 shipping when you spend £25.

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Or amaze them with a bundle!

Why?

With so many of us suffering from anxiety and depression, we need a way out, an escape, a way to break through the stupid social norms.

Our aim at Mr. Inappropriate is to give you a break from all that, be yourself, and have a laugh.

My name is Dan, I’m the founder of Mr. Inappropriate and I firmly believe that we’re not designed to live like this.

We haven’t changed much since the time when we ran around with a spear chasing something to fuck or eat, or escaping from someone else doing that.

And now, we have to deal with emails, debt, job and a million other things, not to mention the fact we’re not allowed to express ourselves anymore for fear of offending someone.

If you’re feeling stressed and anxious it’s hardly surprising.  

Let us help by giving you a moment to escape, have a giggle and not give a shit.

And help your friends do the same!

And get a set of cards

  • Mr. Inappropriate

    Custom card message and send it directly to your recipient.

  • Mr. Inappropriate

    Cards/candles: buy one get one 50% off.

  • Mr. Inappropriate

    All designs are hand drawn in our home office near Leeds.

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