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Last order date for Christmas: 18th December
You might want to order earlier as Royal Mail can be slow at this time of year!
Large Candle - Crusty Cunt Putty
Large Candle - Crusty Cunt Putty
Ships Next Day (Mon-Fri)
How big is it?
How big is it?
The candle measures 10cm diameter by 16cm height and has a burning time of 100 hours.
What does it really smell of?
What does it really smell of?
Cosy and lovely coconut! Sorry, I know that's disappointing...
Can you send it to my loved one?
Can you send it to my loved one?
Yes sure, just put their address as the shipping address when you check out!
If you want to also send them a card, we can print a message in it for you. Just find the card that you want and you'll see a checkbox that says 'SEND TO LOVED ONE AND ADD A MESSAGE'. Just check this box and type your message, and we'll print and send it with your candle.
How will it be packaged?
How will it be packaged?
Your candle will be carefully wrapped in kraft paper, then packaged by hand in a cardboard box, nested in a load of kraft dunnage.
Can I talk with you to check something?
Can I talk with you to check something?
Sure, call me on 01138730688 or email me at dan@mrinappropriate.co.uk, or use the little chat thingy at the bottom right.
How much does shipping cost?
How much does shipping cost?
It will actually cost you less then it costs me, so don't worry, you won't get a horrible surprise when you check out.
You'll see a dropdown on the checkout page where you can choose the method you want to use.
When will I get it?
When will I get it?
If you order before 23:00 we'll send your order the next working day.
If you also order mugs, water bottles and anything fabric, they will arrive separately because they are printed to order.
You can choose from various shipping methods when you check out, the quickest being Royal Mail Tracked 24.
You'll notice that the cost of shipping is less than what it costs me.
“My 2nd purchase from here and I wasn't disappointed, great products and excellent communication from Dan, keep up the good work” - Steve Rowley, Stoke-on-Trent
I don't know about you, but I'm having to use my imagination for this one.
Fortunately not my memory.
A bit like other products on this ridiculous website, I'm not really sure what I was trying to achieve with this candle and who it would appeal to.
Although probably there are people out there like me, who like something just because it's a bit disgusting, no other reason.
Are you that people? Maybe you are! If so, please tell me and we can be friends :)
“Absolutely brilliant, good quality, fast delivery, and a good bit of rude humour! Excellent customer service from an actual human too.” - Alicia Caulfield, Newcastle upon Tyne
Imagine their face when they open it
Will they be surprised? Impressed? Offended? Will they giggle and drop a bit of wee into their pants.
Will they get a glimpse of what you're really like?
I hope so, you should be proud of how naughty you can be.
We get it
Every day you have to behave yourself and do all of the stupid crap that society expects you to.
You have to wear the right clothes, keep your job, be polite, try not to wave your important parts around in public, and remember not to say naughty words or offend anyone.
Be kind to yourself and give yourself a break, release some pressure and do something bad.
You owe it to yourself, and to your friends. They’ll love you more for it, I can promise you that.
Very Important Questions
Can I get a refund if I don't like it?
If you don't like your candle, just email me (dan@mrinappropriate.co.uk) within 30 days and I'll give you a full refund including postage, no questions asked.
You don't even need to send it back!
What does it really smell of?
Cosy and lovely coconut! Sorry, I know that's disappointing...
How big is it?
The candle measures 10cm diameter by 16cm height and has a burning time of 100 hours.
What is it made from?
At least 50% of the wax in this product is renewable and plant-based.
The labels are made from expensive matte stickers with an embossed texture.
How will it be packaged?
Your candle will be carefully wrapped in kraft paper with a ribbon around it, then packaged by hand in a cardboard box, nested in a load of kraft dunnage.
What when it's burnt out?
When the candle has burnt itself out you can use the glass to store nails and toenails.
What safety advice do you have?
Never leave a burning candle unattended and keep away from things that can catch fire.
Can I talk with you to check something?
Sure, call me on 01138730688 or email me at dan@mrinappropriate.co.uk, or use the little chat thingy at the bottom right.
When will I get my stuff?
If you order before 23:00 we'll send your order at 08:00 tomorrow (we only send on working days).
If you also order mugs, water bottles and anything fabric, they will arrive separately because they are printed to order.
You can choose from various shipping methods when you check out, the quickest being Royal Mail Tracked 24.
You'll notice that the cost of shipping is less than what it costs me
How much does shipping cost?
It will actually cost you less then it costs me, so don't worry, you won't get a horrible surprise when you check out.
You'll see a dropdown on the checkout page where you can choose the method you want to use.
Who or what is Mila?
Mila is our very own naughty little AI-driven assistant. Have a chat with her and see what happens!
Or amaze them with a bundle!
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Why?
With so many of us suffering from anxiety and depression, we need a way out, an escape, a way to break through the stupid social norms.
Our aim at Mr. Inappropriate is to give you a break from all that, be yourself, and have a laugh.
My name is Dan, I’m the founder of Mr. Inappropriate and I firmly believe that we’re not designed to live like this.
We haven’t changed much since the time when we ran around with a spear chasing something to fuck or eat, or escaping from someone else doing that.
And now, we have to deal with emails, debt, job and a million other things, not to mention the fact we’re not allowed to express ourselves anymore for fear of offending someone.
If you’re feeling stressed and anxious it’s hardly surprising.
Let us help by giving you a moment to escape, have a giggle and not give a shit.
And help your friends do the same!
And get a set of cards
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