Ooooh, that's naughty!

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Funny Candle - Dog Anal Gland Milk

Funny Candle - Dog Anal Gland Milk

Regular price £4.97
Regular price £5.99 Sale price £4.97
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Tax included. Shipping calculated at checkout.

I don't know about you, but I think various things are quite disgusting, but none more so than this.  And I'm saying that with no experience of it.

We do have a dog, but he has never yet had his anal gland milked, but a friend of ours had a dog which periodically needed to be emptied.  I don't really want to go into it, but it sounds quite gross.  Google it if you want to know more.

So with no experience of such a thing I thought it would be a good idea to make this candle, makes sense doesn't it?

So if you want the most disgusting thing I have to sell, in my opinion, buy this, it would make a perfect engagement gift for a friend.

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Imagine their face when they open it

Will they be surprised? Impressed? Offended? Will they giggle and drop a bit of wee into their pants?

Will they get a glimpse of what you're really like?

I hope so, you should be proud of how naughty you can be.

Common Questions

Can I get a refund if I don't like it?

If you don't like your candle, just email me ( within 30 days and I'll give you a full refund including postage, no questions asked.

You don't even need to send it back!

What does it really smell of?

Cosy and lovely vanilla! Sorry, I know that's disappointing...

How big is it?

The candle measures 7.5cm diameter by 7cm height and has a burning time of 20 hours.

What is it made from?

At least 50% of the was in this product is renewable plant-based wax.

The labels are made from expensive matte stickers with an embossed texture.

What is the box made from?

The box is made from quality 380gsm KSC certified Kraft cardboard.

How will it be packaged?

Your candle will be carefully packaged by hand in a cardboard box, nested in a load of kraft dunnage.

What when it's burnt out?

When the candle has burnt itself out you can use the glass to store nails and toenails.

What safety advice do you have?

Never leave a burning candle unattended and keep away from things that can catch fire.

Can I talk with you to check something?

Sure, call me on 01138730688 or email me at, or use the little chat thingy at the bottom right.

When will I get my stuff?

If you order before 23:00 we'll send your order at 08:00 tomorrow (we only send on working days).

If you also order mugs, water bottles and anything fabric, they will arrive separately because they are printed to order.

You can choose from various shipping methods when you check out, the quickest being Royal Mail Tracked 24.

You'll notice that the cost of shipping is less than what it costs me

How much does shipping cost?

It will actually cost you less then it costs me, so don't worry, you won't get a horrible surprise when you check out.

You'll see a dropdown on the checkout page where you can choose the method you want to use.

Who or what is Mila?

Mila is our very own naughty little AI-driven assistant. Have a chat with her here and see what happens!

  • All orders before 11pm sent 8am next working day.*

  • Cards/candles: buy one get one 50% off.

  • Free UK Tracked 24 shipping when you spend £25.

  • All designs are hand drawn in our home office near Leeds.

  • Custom card message and send it directly to your recipient.

  • Full refund, no need to send back, just email us, no questions asked.

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With so many of us suffering from anxiety and depression, we need a way out, an escape, a way to break through the stupid social norms.

Our aim at Mr. Inappropriate is to give you a break from all that, be yourself, and have a laugh.

My name is Dan, I’m the founder of Mr. Inappropriate and I firmly believe that we’re not designed to live like this.

We haven’t changed much since the time when we ran around with a spear chasing something to fuck or eat, or escaping from someone else doing that.

And now, we have to deal with emails, debt, job and a million other things, not to mention the fact we’re not allowed to express ourselves anymore for fear of offending someone.

If you’re feeling stressed and anxious it’s hardly surprising.  

Let us help by giving you a moment to escape, have a giggle and not give a shit.

And help your friends do the same!

Customer Reviews

Based on 5 reviews
Debbie Unwin (Prescot, GB)
Anal gland milk candle

Bought this as a gift for my niece who had just qualified as a vet nurse. We have a dog who expresses his anal glands anywhere & everywhere! We found this hilarious & she did too! Thankfully candle had a lovely scent. Fab little gift

Yay that's ace, I'm so glad you managed to find this, sounds like exactly what you needed :) And thank you so much for the review!

Adam James (Hackney, GB)
Very funny novelty gift for someone close to you, or far away.

Humour is a rare thing these days. As each year passes more of it slowly evaporates under the growing heat of greenhouse gases and global warming. So why not fight the good fight and inject some humour back into yours and other people's lives with a funky candle or mug. Great products and a large selection to choose from. The candles are very funny and worth the money.

Soph (Redhill, GB)
Great Secret Santa Gift

Perfect for a funny gift thanks!

Thank you Soph, I'm glad you like it and thank you for the review!!

C.A. (London, GB)

Bought for my sister. Label looks really serious which makes it funnier. Actually smells really nice. Like sweet vanilla. Good price for a good laugh

Haha yeah I wanted the candles to look sensible at first glance, I'm happy you liked it, thank you so much for the review!

James Baxter (Nottingham, GB)

Went down a treat in our couples secret santa. All of the other people did serious presents aprt from me. I hope I have set the tone for next year!

Thank you James, sounds like a good precedent to set, good work, and thank you for the review!