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Small Candle - Crusty Cunt Putty

Small Candle - Crusty Cunt Putty

£6.97
£6.97 £6.97
Sale Sold out
Tax included. Shipping calculated at checkout.

Ships Next Day (Mon-Fri)

How big is it?

The candle measures 7.5cm diameter by 7cm height and has a burning time of 20 hours.

What does it really smell of?

Cosy and lovely vanilla! Sorry, I know that's disappointing...

Can you send it to my loved one?

Yes sure, just put their address as the shipping address when you check out!

If you want to also send them a card, we can print a message in it for you. Just find the card that you want and you'll see a checkbox that says 'SEND TO LOVED ONE AND ADD A MESSAGE'. Just check this box and type your message, and we'll print and send it with your candle.

How will it be packaged?

Your candle will be packaged with tissue in a lovely thick cardboard presentation box (see photo).

It'll then be packaged by hand in a cardboard box, nested in a load of kraft dunnage or maybe bubble wrap.

Can I talk with you to check something?

Sure, call me on 01138730688 or email me at dan@mrinappropriate.co.uk, or use the little chat thingy at the bottom right.

How much does shipping cost?

It will actually cost you less then it costs me, so don't worry, you won't get a horrible surprise when you check out.

You'll see a dropdown on the checkout page where you can choose the method you want to use.

When will I get it?

If you order before 23:00 we'll send your order the next working day.

If you also order mugs, water bottles and anything fabric, they will arrive separately because they are printed to order.

You can choose from various shipping methods when you check out, the quickest being Royal Mail Tracked 24.

You'll notice that the cost of shipping is less than what it costs me.

“My 2nd purchase from here and I wasn't disappointed, great products and excellent communication from Dan, keep up the good work” - Steve Rowley, Stoke-on-Trent

I don't know about you, but I'm having to use my imagination for this one.

Fortunately not my memory.

A bit like other products on this ridiculous website, I'm not really sure what I was trying to achieve with this candle and who it would appeal to.

Although probably there are people out there like me, who like something just because it's a bit disgusting, no other reason.

Are you that people?  Maybe you are!  If so, please tell me and we can be friends :)

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Customers rate us 5.0/5 based on 939 reviews.

“Absolutely brilliant, good quality, fast delivery, and a good bit of rude humour! Excellent customer service from an actual human too.” - Alicia Caulfield, Newcastle upon Tyne

Mr. Inappropriate

Imagine their face when they open it

Will they be surprised? Impressed? Offended? Will they giggle and drop a bit of wee into their pants.

Will they get a glimpse of what you're really like?

I hope so, you should be proud of how naughty you can be.

We get it

Every day you have to behave yourself and do all of the stupid crap that society expects you to.

You have to wear the right clothes, keep your job, be polite, try not to wave your important parts around in public, and remember not to say naughty words or offend anyone.

Be kind to yourself and give yourself a break, release some pressure and do something bad.

You owe it to yourself, and to your friends.  They’ll love you more for it, I can promise you that.

More questions

Can I get a refund if I don't like it?

If you don't like your candle, just email me (dan@mrinappropriate.co.uk) within 30 days and I'll give you a full refund including postage, no questions asked.

You don't even need to send it back!

What is it made from?

At least 50% of the was in this product is renewable plant-based wax.

The labels are made from expensive matte stickers with an embossed texture.

What when it's burnt out?

When the candle has burnt itself out you can use the glass to store nails and toenails.

What safety advice do you have?

Never leave a burning candle unattended and keep away from things that can catch fire.

Who or what is Mila?

Mila is our very own naughty little AI-driven assistant. Have a chat with her and see what happens!

  • Mr. Inappropriate

    All orders before 11pm sent next working day; mugs, water bottles and anything fabric will be sent a couple of days later.

  • Mr. Inappropriate

    Full refund, no need to send back, just email us, no questions asked.

Or amaze them with a bundle!

Why?

With so many of us suffering from anxiety and depression, we need a way out, an escape, a way to break through the stupid social norms.

Our aim at Mr. Inappropriate is to give you a break from all that, be yourself, and have a laugh.

My name is Dan, I’m the founder of Mr. Inappropriate and I firmly believe that we’re not designed to live like this.

We haven’t changed much since the time when we ran around with a spear chasing something to fuck or eat, or escaping from someone else doing that.

And now, we have to deal with emails, debt, job and a million other things, not to mention the fact we’re not allowed to express ourselves anymore for fear of offending someone.

If you’re feeling stressed and anxious it’s hardly surprising.  

Let us help by giving you a moment to escape, have a giggle and not give a shit.

And help your friends do the same!

And get a set of cards

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  • Mr. Inappropriate

    Custom card message and send it directly to your recipient.

  • Mr. Inappropriate

    All designs are hand drawn in our home office near Leeds.

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Customer Reviews

Based on 5 reviews
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Vivienne Lloyd (March, GB)
AMAZING SERVICE AND TOTALLY INAPPROPRIATE BUT I LOVE IT

Super service from Dan, very quick delivery in fact it came a day earlier than was said and the candle is fabulous, the gift was very well received and caused much laughter. It also smells divine. The wine labels were a fabulous touch and hilarious too, can't wait to use them. My first purchase and certainly won't be my last. Totally recommend although maybe not for your maiden aunt :-)

C
Calvin (Gateshead, GB)
Crusty cunt putty candle

For a funny rude candle it's actually nostril friendly along with the amazing service from Mr inappropriate, I must say I'm extremely happy with my purchase and will be ordering again,fast friendly service, I would highly recommend to everyone and anyone .

Thank you so much Calvin, really kind of you to take the time to say all that, I really do appreciate it!

N
Natalie Jackson (Coventry, GB)
Funny as F@&k

Ordered a funny candle along with a misfortune teller. Both fantastic and hilariously funny.
Would absolutely buy of this business again!
5 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟

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Richard

😂😂 great candle, the person it was given to loved it

Thank you Richard, I really appreciate you saying that, thank you!

K
Kevin England (Camberwell, GB)
Cunty candle

Great product, arrived before it was meant to so that’s a bonus. We have it on our mantle piece and just turn it around when parents visit 😂 also it smells of vanilla, would highly recommend.

Thank you so much Kevin, I really appreciate that, and I'm so happy you like it :)