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Small Candle - Aged Smegma

Small Candle - Aged Smegma

£6.97
£6.97 £6.97
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Tax included. Shipping calculated at checkout.

Ships Next Day 8am (Mon-Fri)

“Great customer service, went above and beyond to help, definitely recommend!” - Ashleigh Harn, Herrington

As the title says, I have to come clean, pun intended, which is why I've never allowed any sort of build up to check.

To check what it actually smells of.

So this candle definitely does not smell of what the labels says it does, unless smeagle smells of vanilla, which I very much doubt.

If you have any experience of this sort of smell, please do(n't) tell me all about it.

So in essence this is just a joke candle, sorry to disappoint.  Although now I think about it, it's probably better that way.

Get one for your house, put it on the mantlepiece or coffee table, and if nothing else, your gusts will realise what an amazing sense of humour you have!

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Customers rate us 5.0/5 based on 834 reviews.

“Absolutely brilliant, good quality, fast delivery, and a good bit of rude humour! Excellent customer service from an actual human too.” - Alicia Caulfield, Newcastle upon Tyne

Mr. Inappropriate

Imagine their face when they open it

Will they be surprised? Impressed? Offended? Will they giggle and drop a bit of wee into their pants.

Will they get a glimpse of what you're really like?

I hope so, you should be proud of how naughty you can be.

We get it

Every day you have to behave yourself and do all of the stupid crap that society expects you to.

You have to wear the right clothes, keep your job, be polite, try not to wave your important parts around in public, and remember not to say naughty words or offend anyone.

Be kind to yourself and give yourself a break, release some pressure and do something bad.

You owe it to yourself, and to your friends.  They’ll love you more for it, I can promise you that.

Very Important Questions

Can I get a refund if I don't like it?

If you don't like your candle, just email me (dan@mrinappropriate.co.uk) within 30 days and I'll give you a full refund including postage, no questions asked.

You don't even need to send it back!

What does it really smell of?

Cosy and lovely vanilla! Sorry, I know that's disappointing...

How big is it?

The candle measures 7.5cm diameter by 7cm height and has a burning time of 20 hours.

What is it made from?

At least 50% of the was in this product is renewable plant-based wax.

The labels are made from expensive matte stickers with an embossed texture.

What is the box made from?

The box is made from quality 380gsm KSC certified Kraft cardboard.

How will it be packaged?

Your candle will be carefully packaged by hand in a cardboard box, nested in a load of kraft dunnage.

What when it's burnt out?

When the candle has burnt itself out you can use the glass to store nails and toenails.

What safety advice do you have?

Never leave a burning candle unattended and keep away from things that can catch fire.

Can I talk with you to check something?

Sure, call me on 01138730688 or email me at dan@mrinappropriate.co.uk, or use the little chat thingy at the bottom right.

When will I get my stuff?

If you order before 23:00 we'll send your order at 08:00 tomorrow (we only send on working days).

If you also order mugs, water bottles and anything fabric, they will arrive separately because they are printed to order.

You can choose from various shipping methods when you check out, the quickest being Royal Mail Tracked 24.

You'll notice that the cost of shipping is less than what it costs me

How much does shipping cost?

It will actually cost you less then it costs me, so don't worry, you won't get a horrible surprise when you check out.

You'll see a dropdown on the checkout page where you can choose the method you want to use.

Who or what is Mila?

Mila is our very own naughty little AI-driven assistant. Have a chat with her and see what happens!

  • Mr. Inappropriate

    All orders before 11pm sent 8am next working day; mugs, water bottles and anything fabric will be sent a couple of days later

  • Mr. Inappropriate

    Full refund, no need to send back, just email us, no questions asked.

  • Mr. Inappropriate

    Free UK Tracked 24 shipping when you spend £25.

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Or amaze them with a bundle!

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Why?

With so many of us suffering from anxiety and depression, we need a way out, an escape, a way to break through the stupid social norms.

Our aim at Mr. Inappropriate is to give you a break from all that, be yourself, and have a laugh.

My name is Dan, I’m the founder of Mr. Inappropriate and I firmly believe that we’re not designed to live like this.

We haven’t changed much since the time when we ran around with a spear chasing something to fuck or eat, or escaping from someone else doing that.

And now, we have to deal with emails, debt, job and a million other things, not to mention the fact we’re not allowed to express ourselves anymore for fear of offending someone.

If you’re feeling stressed and anxious it’s hardly surprising.  

Let us help by giving you a moment to escape, have a giggle and not give a shit.

And help your friends do the same!

And get a set of cards

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  • Mr. Inappropriate

    Custom card message and send it directly to your recipient.

  • Mr. Inappropriate

    Cards/small candles: buy one get one 50% off.

  • Mr. Inappropriate

    All designs are hand drawn in our home office near Leeds.

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Customer Reviews

Based on 6 reviews
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M
M.J. (Manchester, GB)
Great Candles, both in smell and wit !

Didn't really know what to expect, but these small candles are great as a funny gift, Great smell also ! would recommend this friendly and fast service

N
Nick Atkinson (Southampton, GB)
Love, love, love these candles….

Let’s face it, in this day and age… candles could try so much harder… they’re called something pretentious or they smell pretentious…. Or both…. These candles are awesome…. Such a sweet smell for something named by the devil himself…. A must have for the real candle connoisseur…

d
debbie cook (Worthing, GB)
Candle

Arrived quickly. Excellent value for money.

Thank you Debbie, really appreciate you saying that :)

J
Jess Thorne (Margate, GB)

Great product, Brought a laughter to the table for secret santa, would highly recommend, great customer service

K
K.O. (Wigan, GB)
Brilliantly inappropriate!

Bought the aged smegma candle as a secret santa and I honestly couldn't be happier! Dan has been fab! Prompt delivery, great communication and hilariously inappropriate item as described! Thank you! Will definitely use again!

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