My second IT job was at a medium-sized IT software company in York. I worked on the helpdesk answering calls from people who didn’t know what the mouse was for.
At the time, as social networks hadn’t yet been invented, it was normal to send funny apps, pictures and videos around.
And because there was no email filtering anyone could send/receive anything.
A fairly well known one at the time was called beard.exe. I don’t know if you even saw and remember this one but it was brilliant.
On receiving and clicking it, it shows a popup on your screen that says ‘YOU’VE BEEN BEARDED’.
Usually the unsuspecting recipient would just close it and think nothing more, but what they didn’t realise is that behind the applications they had open, the desktop background image had been changed.
It had been changed to a picture of a woman with her legs open, with the biggest hedge you’ve ever seen, reaching from half-way to her thighs to her waist.
If you weren’t around during this time, you missed out, treats like this were magical.
Anyway, one day, James the helpdesk manager received this app, opened it, saw the popup, closed it and thought no more of it.
A couple of hours later Liz, one of the company directors came to ask something.
He sat with his back to the wall, which was everyone’s dream desk position, and as the manager, he awarded himself with this coveted position.
Sitting in the middle of the room, I could see the back of his monitor and his little face behind it. I knew he’d recently been bearded and wondered if his important-sounding big words would be disturbed by it. It all depended on whether he’d minimise his windows to reveal his desktop wallpaper.
Liz, looking even more important, stood next to him, earnestly agreeing with his big words, while looking at his screen.
Watching them with nervous excitement, I wondered if he’d minimise his windows at any point during their conversation. I half hoped he would.
Then it happened.
James stopped talking and his face went white.
Liz stood still, looking at his screen, then at James (who was still looking at the screen).
I could imagine how he felt. He didn’t want to look at her because then he’d have to interact with the situation. Staring at the screen was a bit like pausing time, and despite looking at the beard, he could sort of pretend it wasn’t happening.
This standoff had to break though.
Liz was furious, as if he’d done the most terrible thing that a human could ever do. He looked genuinely scared of her!
