While working in my second IT job I was downstairs, next to one of the cleaning ladies, and I heard the other one upstairs shout as loud as she could ‘Janet, I can smell your bucket from up here!!’. I wondered if it was a medical condition, or maybe she was just a dirty stinker.
Around the same time I was carrying a server downstairs. A big heavy 30kg computer thing. When I got to the bottom floor, I crouched down to set it on the floor, and ripped my trousers from the zipper at the front to the belt loop at the back.
They’d essentially become two leg tubes connected by the zip. More amazingly I spent all day like that and nobody noticed (apart from the people I showed).
Also I used to sledge down the big wide carpeted stairs in a big plastic storage box.
Anyway, I was going to tell you about the job after that. It was for an IT services company where most people were ok, but there were a few of those important bellends. You know the ones: probably had no friends and thought their stupid little job was to be the saviour of humanity.
Anyway, I sat next to a bloke called Sam. I was his manager actually.
Every lunch time we’d think of new ways to have fun. We did all sorts of things which I’ll tell you about later, but my favourite was seeing how much of our lunch we could stick to the ceiling.
We’d select the best sort of food based on its likelihood to stay in one piece and stickiness or potential suction ability.
Ham for example was amazing but it had to land flat on the ceiling to form an airtight bond. Half a tomato also sometimes worked but didn’t last long. Things like sausages and bacon were no use at all, but a nice blob of mashed potato was lovely. It would make a small upside-down mountain on the ceiling. Cucumber, like a little suction cup, proved to last a couple of days.
Occasionally bits of food would plop down from ceiling onto my desk which was always a bit of a surprise, which soon became part of the game. A game which became a much more competitive and technical as we progressed.
Did you ever stick your food on the ceiling at school? Or maybe wet bog roll? Or anything else?
As always, try to take care of yourself at least once every day
