How I embarrassed the bank director

A few years ago I was working at a well-known bank, and my desk was placed between a friend of mine on one side, the and director of the entire bank on the other side.
 
Despite his job title, this director guy, Alan (not his real name), was a rally nice, kind and relatively easy going chap.
 
While we were both working at this place, my friend Bob (not his real name) and I used to award each other points for doing special things.  It might be a really loud pump in a meeting, or making goat noses in a conference call, hiding a fish in a pen holder or stapling someone's sleeves closed etc.  Normal office stuff.
 
One day, Bob came back from the loo looking especially proud of himself.  He was usually fairly proud after whatever he did in there, but that day it was something special.  He said 'go and see what I did in there'.
 
Expecting to find a huge turd poking end-on out of the water as usual, I trotted into the loo before anyone else got there, to find something a little different this time.  He'd filled the sink with pi.ss, and sprinkled a massive amount of pubes (which I later found out was actually chest hair) all around the toilet seat.
 
Just as I came out of there, still giggling to myself, I saw New Boy pass me, clearly going to drop something off.  I smiled and said hello.
 
5 minutes later, he sheepishly came over to me, and told me what he'd found, and said that he'd had to remove the pubes, and dip his hand into the (still slightly warm) wee to take out the plug, so that nobody would think it was him.  He was clearly disappointed by the experience.
 
A couple of days later, after covering Alan's desk, phone, monitor, computer and mouse with jelly babies, changing the order of his keyboard keys and taping his phone release button down, he went for an innocent wee.  While he was away, as we were finishing our McDonald's lunch, we put all of the packaging into his suit jacket pockets as it hung on the back of his chair.
 
He promptly came back, announced that he was going for a board meeting, put his jacket on and walked off, looking very important.
 
A couple of hours later he came back looking embarrassed and annoyed.  I thought he'd be pleased of the attention especially after the jelly baby incident, but apparently when he got to the meeting and took his jacket off, all of the screwed up McDonald's wrappers and burger / fries boxes fell of his pockets onto the floor.
Nobody believed him that someone had put them there, so all he could do is think about what a grot bag they must think he is, which amazingly seemed to last until he came back to his desk a couple of hours later.
 
I think this was another case of subconsciously seeing the funny side.
Back to blog

Leave a comment

Please note, comments need to be approved before they are published.