For New Year 2020 we stayed in London with a couple of friends. Brilliant playful atmosphere and lots of good people-watching opportunities.
An hour or two after midnight we found ourselves walking down that straight road towards Buckingham Palace, The Mall I think it’s called.
Loads of wasted people, one of whom we’d just watched getting trapped in a portaloo, a few people sitting on the pavement, and a few that had fallen over and couldn’t get up. Very funny, you have to go there at New Year if you have the chance.
We were walking down the road beside two blokes a similar age to us, one of whom was clearly annoyed and was muttering and swearing under his breath. As we walked his annoyance and swearing got louder and louder. I assumed he was swearing at the other bloke, but he seemed indifferent.
Then he stopped, took his right shoe off, held it up at face level and started shouting at it! I don’t know what had happened, but clearly the shoe had done something very very bad and the man was clearly upset about it.
At this point I was very glad I wasn’t that shoe, I couldn’t help but feel a little sorry for it. Sure, it had done something bad, but nobody deserved to be shouted at like that, it was truly violent language that I can’t even type here.
Then, having clearly lost the argument, as a final attempt to end on top, he launched the shoe over the hedge into St. James’s Park!
Poor shoe! Not only had it been abused like that, but was now a homeless orphan!
I don’t know what it had done, but surely it didn’t deserve this.
The man, after showing the shoe who was boss, head high, continued to proudly walk towards the palace, secure in the knowledge that he was never going to be belittled by that shoe again.
Not sure his right sock was happy about it.
