How to say happy birthday in scouse

Table of Contents

• Overview
• Introduction
• What does it sound like?
• What does la mean?
• What are some other ways?
• Why would I want my mate's head licked?
• Ok so what if I don't want my mate's head licked?
• 'Give im' some?'
• 'Give him the bumps!'
• 'Give im' a slap!'
• 'Give im' a spoon!'

Overview

The most common way to say 'happy birthday' in scouse is to say 'appy birfday la'. This is said in a scouse accent, which can be hard to describe, but it's sort of like a cross between a Dutch and a Pakistani accent.

If you want to get more creative, you could use the word 'divvy', which means idiot. You could say something like 'appy birfday divvy'. Yes, I know it doesn't make sense to call someone an idiot on their birthday, but that's what we do.

And if you want to mock them for being old, you could say 'appy birfday divvy, you stink of wee now you're old'. Maybe that was too much.

Introduction

This is an easy one; the most common way to say happy birthday in scouse is simply to say 'appy birfday la'.

I know it looks weird written down like that, but that's how we speak around here. Obviously calling someone a 'la' isn't the same as calling them a mate or friend. It's just what we do; it's sort of an automated thing that comes out of our mouths when we speak.

What does it sound like?

This is really hard to explain in writing because the scouse accent is so unusual; I don't know how to describe it.

The best thing I can suggest is to think about a Dutch person and a Pakistani person talking. The Dutch person has quite a staccato-sounding voice with lots of hard consonants, and the Pakistani person has sort of soft bubbly kind of voice. If they had a baby, and that baby learned English without hearing anyone else speaking English other than these two parents then this is what they'd end up sounding like.

It's odd when you think about it - this little part of England on the west coast ended up sounding like we're from somewhere else entirely. And also saying things that nobody else says like calling eachother la.

What does la mean?

I really don't know - it's just something we say. It's sort of like saying mate or friend but not really; it doesn't mean anything and doesn't have any kind of feeling attached to it. It's just something that comes out automatically when we talk.

I suppose it's similar to when people from London call eachother mate all the time; it's not meant as anything nice or friendly really - just something they do because everyone else does and somehow they feel obliged.

What are some other ways?

If all you want do do is make them feel loved and give them a big old hug then you'll probably be disappointed - that's not the kind of thing we do around here. If you want more information about this have a look at my other article about what it's like living in Liverpool. In summary though we're not very touchy-feely here; if we want someone to feel special we'll usually insult them. Honestly that's how it works.

If you want an example have look at my video on YouTube where I walked into some random barbers and asked them to insult me (yes really). At first they were confused as if I'd asked for something weird but once they understood what I wanted they were actually good at it!

Why would I want my mate's head licked?

I don't know, maybe you're into that sort of thing? Just go up behind him/her and give their head a good old slurp with your tongue... although that might not be very practical if they're taller than you.

Ok so what if I don't want my mate's head licked?

Yeah ok maybe you're normal after all, so let's try another one.

'Give im' some?'

This one probably doesn't need much explaining either. Although actually now I think about it maybe it does as I'm still not sure what this means. Maybe it's obvious when we say 'give him some', we're intending that he receives some sort of present or treat or something but now I've written it down I realise it's actually pretty ambiguous. I mean seriously what could this possibly mean; give him some what? You'd naturally assume since it's his birthday that we're talking about a present or something but who knows? I don't know about you but now I've thought about this I've realised how little sense it makes and also how many things it could mean. I'll leave this one open for interpretation...

'Give him the bumps!'

This one however is pretty clear; at least for us anyway - I'm not sure if this phrase means anything outside Liverpool. If you've ever been in Liverpool you'll have seen those speed bumps everywhere (the ones that are big lumps across the road) - yes those are called bumps (sometimes referred to as sleeping policeman), and yes that's what we're talking about here. So yeah usually we'll grab him by his arms and legs then throw him onto one of these bumps which hurts his back. Ok yes it's probably illegal and dangerous but whatever - that's just what we do around here. Now I've written this down though I'm wondering whether this makes any sense at all because even though we've done this countless times over the years nobody has ever explained why - it's just one of those things we've always done. Maybe there's some reason for it, maybe there isn't - either way who cares? Weirdly enough though even after all these years nobody has every been properly hurt during these little rituals although there have been plenty of complaints which we've ignored. One day maybe someone will get properly hurt then we'll stop doing it... although probably not.

'Give im' a slap!'

This one's quite simple: just slap him! Again it'll be obvious why we should do such a thing; no idea why we'd bother doing such a thing but that's how we celebrate birthdays around here! As with most things there seems no reason for half the stuff we do - maybe it's because we're bored as there's nothing much else going on around here!

'Give im' a spoon!'

No idea where this one came from either! Whenever someone has their birthday or achieves anything we'll often shout 'give him a spoon!' No idea why though!

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